Prometheus Fail

I’m sure just about every contributor to this blog has seen the movie, or is intending to see it… but it’s my turn to bitch about it : )

The strange thing is that my issues with it don’t stem from the “it didn’t answer the questions it raised” or “what did it all mean?” debates I’ve seen all over the web.  I’m quite happy to have a movie that leaves me with questions like those.  Philosophical questions that I can discuss with others who’ve seen the movie, engage in discourse or debate – that’s fun.  What I don’t want to do is leave the theatre with questions like “why did all the characters do such stupid things?”

Unfortunately, those outweighed the other aspects, because they kept happening!

WARNING: Spoilers ahead.

Right from the beginning, they arrive on an unknown planet and the head of the expedition insists on no weapons.  Yes, you’re there for scientific reasons, but are there predators?  Other hostile beings?  I’m Canadian, and I can still see that having weapons make sense – no need to be aggressive.  The ridiculous, inexplicable decisions, from everyone, never ceased.

Why would you take off your helmet just because the air was in breathable proportions in the cave?  Umm… viruses?  Bacteria?  Spores?  If they checked, there was no mention.

How about the sociopathic geologist?  Surely with the amount of money being offered for the expedition, you could find one who could pass a psychiatric evaluation.  Oh, and let’s not forget, even though he created the gadgets that mapped the cave, he still got lost on the way back to the ship!

What about the biologist who had no interest in examining the remains of the alien?   And that was, I think, only in the first third of the movie.  The WTFs kept piling up.  No one got smarter, and they died for it.  Too stupid to live, literally.

That’s what ruined the movie for me.  Fail.  Hard.

KC Burn

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10 comments

  1. **HUGE SPOILERS**

    You’ve listed the main ones. I’d forgotten about the mapping gizmos. The guy who created them, and *presumably* knew how they worked–“I’m here for the money” (actual quote)–went and got himself lost. Why? Because the script needed him to.

    Then there were the two “I guess we’d better have sex because—well—what else can we do on an unprecedented alien planet when bad shit’s happening?” scenes.

    And the woman who runs into the room screaming for her life (after a nasty operation), only to elicit ZERO reaction from the others. Or the pilots who don’t give a shit about anything at any time, including their own lives. Or the genius who tries to pet the alien worm on a ship where very bad things have already happened to the crew.

    Or the entire premise of the mission. Why would the alien engineers leave humanity a star map to *that* particular alien planet when it’s only a bioweapons site? Shouldn’t the map point to the engineers’ home planet? And if they weren’t inviting us, why give us that “map” in the first place?

    Lame, lame, lame.

    1. Oh, yeah, the map to the bioweapons planet was rather silly! And I agree, totally. They made the characters do idiotic things to shoehorn certain events into the poorly conceived plot.

  2. So glad I trusted my instincts and didn’t bother to go see this. 🙂

    1. It’s one of those weird things, JL. It looked great on the big screen, and I liked the actors, but the plot and characterization… as Robert says – lame.

  3. Yes, to everything – total fail. I was very, very dissapointed.

    1. Oh, I know – so disappointing!

  4. Marc · · Reply

    Also…what was the point of hiring Guy Pierce to play an old man if he never needed to look young at some point? I’ve never seen a movie do old age makeup for no reason whatsoever!

    1. Oh, I know! Such a waste, wasn’t it?

  5. Dylan Kyle · · Reply

    Okay. This movie absolutely ruined the Alien movies for me, and has me on the fence about Predator, AND AVP now. I love these movies, and I hope someone can change my perspective. So please. Help explain. First off, the first scene of Prometheus makes no sense…He just kills himself, then it hops into the movie….but anyways this is what I’ve got so far….the big random white guys somehow evolve into predators. Seeing as they had all the face-huggers on the ship to bring to earth to place onto humans so they could hunt the aliens. Which is brought up in AVP. Makes sense. Now…what doesn’t make sense is at the end of Prometheus after they crash the ship into the alien ship, the big random white guy (predator) gets out of the ship, and goes to the safety pod to kill Shaw, where he himself is killed by her face-hugger abortion. Now, this is where I lose it, and start thinking Ridley should have watched Alien before making Prometheus. At the end the Alien pops out of the predators chest, BUT in Alien (1979) they find the Predator, or big random white guy, in the chair of his ship, hole in his chest, spacesuit (or whatever it is) still attached. SO, either Ridley fucked up, or it is another spaceship with another predator. I am personally choosing to believe it is another spaceship, and I’m hoping to god it’s explained in Prometheus 2. If it isn’t, then this franchise has lost all it’s viability, and Ridley should be forced to hang up his directors hat because he’s completely destroying the story line. Now please. Prove me wrong so I can go back to enjoying these movies!

    1. Hi Dylan!
      Well, I certainly didn’t feel quite as strongly about it, I agree with you. It was an utter failure, IMO. I suspect we may have to do the same thing we did with Indiana Jones 4 and Star Wars episode 1-3, and just pretend they never happened 😉

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